Do You Like Stories About Soccer?

The Slathering of Jessica Noonan copy</a

The Slathering of Jessica Noonan

For twelve-year-old Jessica Noonan, getting slathered up with Army-grade sunblock in a parking lot before a soccer match is just one indignity she must endure. The taunts and jeers from her teammates are another. Even the adults in the stands get in on the action. All because she’s an albino

If you like Stephen King, you’ll probably like this. 99 cents to purchase, free for Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Prime subscribers


Better than The Hunger Games?


In the distant future, the Holy Bible is amended with stories set in twenty-first century America. Book of Suburbia is one of them.

Two young prophets, Austin and Chad, are traveling door-to-door, evangelizing on a quiet Saturday afternoon. When they come upon the house of a deranged insomniac, things get uncomfortable real quick.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking the same thing Ralphie thought after decoding his secret message: “A crummy commercial?” It’s okay; I’ve been there, too. Truthfully, I just want people to read my free little story–that’s all.

Have a great weekend,



Top Ten Reasons to Read Canis Major this Summer

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Top Ten Reason to Read Canis Major This Summer

10. No vampires or zombies
9. Teenagers saying “fuck” and “shit” every other sentence
8. Rabid dog(s)
7. A small redneck town in Alabama losing its goddamn mind over nothing
6. The enduring love between master and dog
5. A dirty cop who’s in way too deep digging himself in even deeper
4. At $2.99 for Kindle Ebook and 192,000 words, that works out to be $0.0000015573 a word!
3. A deranged owner and his sick dog may be committing a most unwholesome kind of sodomy
2. Heatwave in Alabama during the Dog Days of Summer will make your summer seem more bearable in comparison
1. An ending that will freeze your heart, then melt and shatter it

You can purchase Canis Major in Ebook or paperback formats here:

Canis Major

Rabid Dogs Rule these Days

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Do dogs love their owners, or are our canine friends just manipulating us for access to food and shelter? If one person loves another, and that love is not reciprocated, is that person wasting his time? If today’s winners can be tomorrow’s losers, then why even bother with the futility of competition? Are we just marionettes being jerked around by outside forces we can’t even begin to fathom?  Come join Rusty, Pete, Hector, and Michelle as they unravel one thread at a time the vast tapestry separating sanity from insanity in the epic that is Canis Major

It’s Read an Ebook week over at Use the promo code REW75 to receive a 75% discount off Canis Major.

If Smashwords isn’t your style, you can purchase Canis Major at Amazon and Barnes and Noble in both print and ebook form.

Attention Married Scientists

Are you in love with your spouse? Or are you pair-bonded for the act of procreation and subsequent rearing of offspring?

I you said love, please post replicable proof of your love in the comments section of this blog. I’m conducting research for my forthcoming book, “The Love Delusion.”

Thank you for your time and contribution.

Who’s Ready for the Super Bowl?

I heard some talk about a Big Game this weekend. (Yes, the B in big and G in game are capitalized, and rightly so.) If you’re anything like me (and chances are you’re not), then you’re probably wondering, “Who cares? Isn’t there a Big Game every Sunday?”

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa…. Back it up, Junior. Beep, beep, beep. This isn’t just any Big Game. It’s the motherfrickin’ Super Bowl! This is the game that determines the champion of football, or something.

Personally, I get all warm and fuzzy inside every time I see a rich person getting what he wants, but it is especially gratifying to witness a whole team of rich people accomplish their goal of being the best at something that, in terms of brutality, let’s be honest, is one step below Thunder Dome.

But that is neither here nor there. My feelings on football aside, I wish everybody the best, from the players to the fans to the real heroes, the corporate sponsors, who do their gosh-darn best to brainwash us into buying things we’ll never need.

So, I wrote a short little ditty called “Uprising” a couple of weeks ago. (How’s that for a segue?) It focuses on a Big Game, but in my story, it’s a college football game. If you like kids playing pranks and other shenanigans, then come check out “Uprising” this weekend, Super Bowl weekend. Did I mention it’s free? Well, it is.

Here’s the link:



Free Short Story – Uprising

Uprising Final copy

Today and tomorrow (January 14th and 15th), my new short story Uprising will be free on Amazon Kindle,

Here’s what it’s about:

At the biggest football game of the season, college students Gareth Miller, Tyson, and the hilarious Victor DeNunzio decide to play a prank on the packed stadium. When Gareth calls an audible, their plan disintegrates–or, depending how you look at it, transforms into something even more epic.

If you get the chance to read Uprising, be sure to leave a review.