Top Ten Reasons to Read Canis Major this Summer

Canis_Major_Cover_for_Kindle (1)

Top Ten Reason to Read Canis Major This Summer

10. No vampires or zombies
9. Teenagers saying “fuck” and “shit” every other sentence
8. Rabid dog(s)
7. A small redneck town in Alabama losing its goddamn mind over nothing
6. The enduring love between master and dog
5. A dirty cop who’s in way too deep digging himself in even deeper
4. At $2.99 for Kindle Ebook and 192,000 words, that works out to be $0.0000015573 a word!
3. A deranged owner and his sick dog may be committing a most unwholesome kind of sodomy
2. Heatwave in Alabama during the Dog Days of Summer will make your summer seem more bearable in comparison
1. An ending that will freeze your heart, then melt and shatter it

You can purchase Canis Major in Ebook or paperback formats here:

Canis Major

Rabid Dogs Rule these Days

Canis_Major_Cover_for_Kindle (1)

 

Do dogs love their owners, or are our canine friends just manipulating us for access to food and shelter? If one person loves another, and that love is not reciprocated, is that person wasting his time? If today’s winners can be tomorrow’s losers, then why even bother with the futility of competition? Are we just marionettes being jerked around by outside forces we can’t even begin to fathom?  Come join Rusty, Pete, Hector, and Michelle as they unravel one thread at a time the vast tapestry separating sanity from insanity in the epic that is Canis Major

It’s Read an Ebook week over at smashwords.com. Use the promo code REW75 to receive a 75% discount off Canis Major.

If Smashwords isn’t your style, you can purchase Canis Major at Amazon and Barnes and Noble in both print and ebook form.

Attention Married Scientists

Are you in love with your spouse? Or are you pair-bonded for the act of procreation and subsequent rearing of offspring?

I you said love, please post replicable proof of your love in the comments section of this blog. I’m conducting research for my forthcoming book, “The Love Delusion.”

Thank you for your time and contribution.

Who’s Ready for the Super Bowl?

I heard some talk about a Big Game this weekend. (Yes, the B in big and G in game are capitalized, and rightly so.) If you’re anything like me (and chances are you’re not), then you’re probably wondering, “Who cares? Isn’t there a Big Game every Sunday?”

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa…. Back it up, Junior. Beep, beep, beep. This isn’t just any Big Game. It’s the motherfrickin’ Super Bowl! This is the game that determines the champion of football, or something.

Personally, I get all warm and fuzzy inside every time I see a rich person getting what he wants, but it is especially gratifying to witness a whole team of rich people accomplish their goal of being the best at something that, in terms of brutality, let’s be honest, is one step below Thunder Dome.

But that is neither here nor there. My feelings on football aside, I wish everybody the best, from the players to the fans to the real heroes, the corporate sponsors, who do their gosh-darn best to brainwash us into buying things we’ll never need.

So, I wrote a short little ditty called “Uprising” a couple of weeks ago. (How’s that for a segue?) It focuses on a Big Game, but in my story, it’s a college football game. If you like kids playing pranks and other shenanigans, then come check out “Uprising” this weekend, Super Bowl weekend. Did I mention it’s free? Well, it is.

Here’s the link:

Uprising

 

Free Short Story – Uprising

Uprising Final copy

Today and tomorrow (January 14th and 15th), my new short story Uprising will be free on Amazon Kindle,

Here’s what it’s about:

At the biggest football game of the season, college students Gareth Miller, Tyson, and the hilarious Victor DeNunzio decide to play a prank on the packed stadium. When Gareth calls an audible, their plan disintegrates–or, depending how you look at it, transforms into something even more epic.

If you get the chance to read Uprising, be sure to leave a review.

Thanks!

Free Books!! Black Friday Edition

This Friday, the ominous-sounding Black Friday, I’ll be giving away all of my short stories for free. The only catch is they are Amazon Kindle files, so you’ll obviously need a Kindle. That being said, they’re still free. As a writer, my intention is never to “milk” my readers by luring them in with a freebie and then charging them for subsequent books that continue where the free one left off. These are all stand alone short stories that have, I feel, literary merit. So treat yourself, readers. You’ve earned it.

If you like any of these stories (or even if you don’t like them), please leave a short review on Amazon. I enjoy hearing what you guys think, good and bad. And if any of these stories move you, I do have a novel for sale called Canis Major. It’s reasonably priced and can be found in paperback or Kindle form here

Now for the free stuff:

Emily Smiles for April copy

Emily Smiles for April

Emily receives a bouquet of violets for her sixteenth birthday. She thinks they remain in a vase on her nightstand, but they keep showing up in the most unusual places.

In a perfect world, this mysterious phenomenon would elicit a bewildered smile from Emily, but Emily doesn’t doesn’t smile much anymore. Then again, Emily’s world is far from perfect.

Book of Suburbia copy

Book of Suburbia

In the distant future, the Holy Bible is amended with stories set in twenty-first century America. Book of Suburbia is one of them.

Two young prophets, Austin and Chad, are traveling door-to-door, evangelizing on a quiet Saturday afternoon. When they come upon the house of a deranged insomniac, things get uncomfortable real quick.

Monkeybars copy

Monkey Bars

On the precipice between salvation and ruin, an unnamed man sits alone in a parked car, waiting for something to happen. Reminiscing about the good old days can only take him so far. It’s up to him – and only him – to choose his fate.

Novelists, Please Don’t Do This!

If you write fiction, please refrain from tacking on an Acknowledgements section after the last chapter. Let the book end where the story ends. Let the readers’ last thoughts be with the characters, not your Aunt Molly or your wife and kids–they weren’t even in the story.

Your novel isn’t a movie (yet), so end credits are completely superfluous. I know many people helped you while you were writing your book–no man is an island and all of that–but, the truth is, none of your readers care. It comes across as an acceptance speech. You haven’t won an award. You haven’t even been nominated for anything. All you’ve done is written a book. Be proud of that.